Today a newborn baby will take his first breath as an old man’s heart stops beating. An artist will dab on a few extra touches of color to prefect his long awaited masterpiece. A woman will burn her toast, cut off the crusts, and eat it anyway. A man will stand up and fight for his basic human rights while peace talks fail smooth over the conflict in his country. Someone will say something that they can’t take back. A young man will laugh after getting a funny look for belting out the lyrics to his favorite song on the radio at a red light. A woman will be suckered into buying a beauty product she doesn’t need from an infomercial, believing it will make the years disappear. Friendship will develop into permanent bonds as others watch relationships dissolve. Someone will realize they were wrong. A visit from a perfect stranger will brighten up the day for a nursing home resident. While pondering the sky, a scientist will discover a new star. Promises will be made, and promises will be broken. Someone will give up, but others will keep trying. A father will watch cartoons with his kids in reminisce of his lost days on innocence. One person will be disappointed with the way her life is headed; however another will have all his hopes exceeded. Two people will realize that they are soul mates. Someone will light a spark that will soon grow into a raging fire. Many will waste their time and later regret it. Even more won’t notice the importance of a few precious moments.
Some people say that life is passing you by… maybe it is… maybe it isn’t. I don’t believe life passes us by, only the small moments. I remember something my Dad once told me. The sun was setting in Hawaii and he bent down and whispered into my little ear “ You know people say that when the sun sinks in to the ocean, a green flash shoots across the sky, and just for an instant, everything is green. Don’t blink or you’ll miss it” The Same thing is true about life. If we blink we may miss breathtaking flashes of time, so… Don’t Blink.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Rejection
First blog, here we go.
Ok, so when someone rejects you don't you think they like acquire some sort of power? Like a super power of the ability to inflict pain on you? The more they hurt you the harder it is to let go. This is the painful [paradox] of abandonment.
“So why does it take so long to get over it?” I ask myself. When we suffer from rejection we judge ourselves soo harshly for not being able to feel better sooner, for not being able to get over it in a heartbeat. We beat ourselves up for feeling so weak and so needy. We feel this so called “weakness” is proving our abandoner right for rejecting us.
Recent events have finally made me understand why all of this happens...it brought me closer to rejection that I think I've ever felt before, and ever wanted to be. Of course we all get rejected in life whether it is to your 5th grade crush who you want to be their valentine, or getting in to Student Council, or the love of your life wants nothing to do with you, it happens to all of us. I mean I've been rejected before, but this time hurt more than many others. For one person to be able to be so open about true feelings is an accomplishment, but when you are denied it hurts, or even worse when they feel the same way about you but there is something standing in the way of your fairytale ending, that makes is way worse. Let's just say i didn't get my fairytale ending and i was left with one question. how can you mean sooo much to one person and at the same time have to share that love with another?
I think that all people that go through abandonment lose self-esteem. We beat ourselves up for losing the person, even though it may not be our fault. We conclude that we must be reject able, valueless, unworthy. We shame ourselves for pining and yearning and wanting someone who has hurt us so badly.
We then turn the rage over being rejected against themselves, beating themselves up, causing themselves to plummet into a painful depression, damaging their self-esteem further. We blame ourselves for everything that's happened automatically. Having disqualified ourselves as worthy of love, we are panicked over fearing that we will wind up dieing alone. The anxiety seems unbearable and bottomless.
That’s why abandonment grief feels like a terminal illness, an illness that spreads out among people by contact. We are afraid we will die of out wounds – that is, die anxious, worthless, and alone.
Whew, a painful depression! And it lags on....
Ok, so when someone rejects you don't you think they like acquire some sort of power? Like a super power of the ability to inflict pain on you? The more they hurt you the harder it is to let go. This is the painful [paradox] of abandonment.
“So why does it take so long to get over it?” I ask myself. When we suffer from rejection we judge ourselves soo harshly for not being able to feel better sooner, for not being able to get over it in a heartbeat. We beat ourselves up for feeling so weak and so needy. We feel this so called “weakness” is proving our abandoner right for rejecting us.
Recent events have finally made me understand why all of this happens...it brought me closer to rejection that I think I've ever felt before, and ever wanted to be. Of course we all get rejected in life whether it is to your 5th grade crush who you want to be their valentine, or getting in to Student Council, or the love of your life wants nothing to do with you, it happens to all of us. I mean I've been rejected before, but this time hurt more than many others. For one person to be able to be so open about true feelings is an accomplishment, but when you are denied it hurts, or even worse when they feel the same way about you but there is something standing in the way of your fairytale ending, that makes is way worse. Let's just say i didn't get my fairytale ending and i was left with one question. how can you mean sooo much to one person and at the same time have to share that love with another?
I think that all people that go through abandonment lose self-esteem. We beat ourselves up for losing the person, even though it may not be our fault. We conclude that we must be reject able, valueless, unworthy. We shame ourselves for pining and yearning and wanting someone who has hurt us so badly.
We then turn the rage over being rejected against themselves, beating themselves up, causing themselves to plummet into a painful depression, damaging their self-esteem further. We blame ourselves for everything that's happened automatically. Having disqualified ourselves as worthy of love, we are panicked over fearing that we will wind up dieing alone. The anxiety seems unbearable and bottomless.
That’s why abandonment grief feels like a terminal illness, an illness that spreads out among people by contact. We are afraid we will die of out wounds – that is, die anxious, worthless, and alone.
Whew, a painful depression! And it lags on....
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